I was arranging the nursery (again) this morning and had a full on panic attack: there is NO WAY they're going to give us our kid! We're too... too... they're going to laugh at us and take her away. I don't *really* think that, but gee wiz is the feeling strong! The closer I get the more I realize that I don't have a clue.
We're officially in go-mode. I went to the dr. yesterday morning and she got this strange look on her face. "Hm... (silence). You might actually be doing something." Whatever that means -- something or nothing. We'll see. I've been contracting frequently (5+ an hour) but not regularly and I've given up trying to tell the difference between Braxton-Hicks and "real." My dr. told me they were some of each -- I'd progessed to 4cm, 80%. It was stressing me out to guess between the two. I had my "show" this morning. Bags are packed and waiting by the door.
Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time, but honestly? I'm feeling crummy and kind of miserable. I haven't eaten since Sunday because my tummy's so upset. I know the next step is going to hurt like a beast -- but I'd rather be there than stuck in a waiting pattern! Discomfort (it's only occasionally pain) would be easier to deal with if I knew it was going to end soon. Maybe today... one can hope :)