So, in the midst of sickness and heartache, I got a lot done. It helps me. I've never been one to sit around and wait. Things are returning to "normal" over the next few days. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support -- it means the world to me.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
When I returned for the 2nd sonogram yesterday, our angel's heart had already stopped beating. It makes me all the more appreciative that we did have a chance to see it, together, the week before. Little One hadn't grown at all -- in fact, it was a little smaller. Although I'm still waiting for the miscarriage, it is inevitable at this point. Today marks 11 weeks.
I wish I had a Gods-eye view of things, that I could see how everything would turn out in the end. I wish I could change the outcome of life's events. I wish my plans and dreams for life would be the ones to succeed. But, as a mere human, my choice is to stuggle on my own or lean whole-heartedly on His grace and love over the long term.
We're going away for a few days to just be alone together and mourn. I'll be back Monday or Tuesday.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Strangely, even after seeing that (and hanging the picture on the fridge to prove it wasn't just a dream), it still doesn't feel real. I still feel like me, with a cold that's making me really tired and my belly upset. I don't look in the mirror and think "mother" or at my husband and think "father." It's still just us. I assume the reality sets in when you start showing, and the baby starts moving?
Our appointment wasn't 100% happy. There's a major confusion about the dates -- as in, 3 1/2 weeks confusion. It is substantial enough that the doctor ordered a follow-up sonogram next week. I'm sure everything will settle out in time, but if the sonogram dating is correct, we found out about 4 days pregnant with a dollar tree test. Not impossible, but highly, highly unlikely. I've spent a lot of time in prayer since Tuesday and I feel that things will turn out ok in the end, but this is really getting to my nerves. I'd truly appreciate any prayers or good thoughts you'd be willing to send our way.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
My baby disagrees. She/he wants nothing more than double cheeseburgers all day every day.
I'm laughing. Of all the strange cravings out there, why this one?! At least the fast food chains are out-of-the-way enough that I don't indulge too often. Except for breakfast this morning.
Pregnancy is a delight. It's good to be home after traveling; I feel so much healthier here.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
We made it home, safe, sound, and exhausted. I plan on avoiding travel as much as humanly possible for the rest of this pregnancy because it is so uncomfortable! We pulled in at home at 5, and I took a 3 hour nap. It's now almost 10, and I think I'll still be fine to sleep through the night! Pregnancy is exhausting. But, it's back to work in the morning, so I'll have to fill you in more later!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My darling husband and I will be welcoming a new member to our family around January 16th, 2010, God willing! Yes! I'm pregnant!
Due to a bad case of self-delusion, we actually didn't find out until I was already 6 weeks along. I'm now nearly 8 and have been blessed beyond reason: morning sickness has barely kicked in so far. I'm more tired than I've been in my entire life and hungry enough for an army, but still feeling quite well overall. We have our first sonogram in a little under 2 weeks.
This is a miracle in so many ways. God is ministering to my heart on multiple levels. Motherhood is the desire of my heart, and this is perfect timing for our family. On a quieter note, for those who've been with me a little longer, my due date is exactly a year from my previous heartbreak. That is part of a quiet assurance I have that everything this time will go smoothly.
I'm thrilled, Shaune's thrilled, our parents are thrilled and shocked at the same time. God provides! ***squeaks of joy***