Monday, August 31, 2009
We're far from being done with this situation, but it's the first I've had to handle since seriously trying to live as a Christian. I'm glad that I now have the voice of the holy spirit in me, because the voice of Jenny would rather do something really crabby like tape a highlighted copy of the lease to his door, or vacuum the floor first thing when I get up at 6.
Please pray for me! My patience is wearing thin, since this is the 4th night in a week I've not been able to sleep. I need to remember that our Lord made those EGRs just like the rest of us... even if we wish He didn't. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
- I took out the back zipper and made it pull-on
- I lengthened the bodice 2 inches so it fit
- I lengthened the skirt nine (9!!!!) inches to cover my knees
I've always wanted a denim jumper, but I didn't want it to be too homely. This dark denim, bought at the Memorial Day sale for 50% off was just the ticket. It's comfy, easy-wear, and just right for my current role as a 5th grade teacher.
I have a brown linen dress that is so close to done it makes me want to clear my schedule for the 2 hours it would take to finish it. It's SOOO pretty I've thought (seriously) about just wearing it unfinished... until I realized the thing I have to finish includes the straps! :-D
Monday, August 24, 2009
Who am I? I’m just little me, minding my own business. What right do I have to demand anyone’s attention – especially that of someone important! I’m only one in 6.7 billion!
I completely understand how Moses felt here. Who hasn’t at one point or another!? It is hard not to feel small when faced with the staggering problems of this world – poverty, hunger, slavery, genocide. Even the staggering beauties (mountains, oceans, plains) have the same effect. Culture does its best to encourage this line of thinking – “You’re only one person. What can you do to change the world?”
That’s how it looks from our perspective. Thankfully, God has a different view:
And God said, “I will be with you.” Exodus 3:12
I wish I could have seen Moses’ face at that moment. I imagine he was flooded with emotions. Joy – he is not alone. Hope – maybe this task isn’t impossible after all. And fear – there goes one really great excuse!
We have the same promise as modern Christians. We may not be special in and of ourselves, but “we are God’s children” (Romans 8:16). We have been adopted into the family of the King and given the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide and support us. If He calls us, He will provide the means to further His glory.
I have been caught in this “who am I?” trap on countless occasions. I’m a young woman with a short track record as a Christian – only five years. I haven’t finished a degree or taken any special bible classes. A lot of the time I do not feel qualified to speak. I feel the urging in my heart but my mind gets in the way. This “right to speak” idea permeates my life – not just my faith. The last thing I want to do is having someone be offended and remind me that I am not worthy of sharing my opinions.
It is a hard concept to fully comprehend: I have value not because of who I am, but because of who God is. Which leads us to Moses’ next excuse…
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I think the hardest part of this experience is that my heart isn't in it. I love the kids and I love teaching -- don't mistake me there! However, my heart's at home. My husband and I have already decided that I can stay home and care for our family. Finishing school is simply so we have a back-up if anything happens to him, to teach and care for our children to the best of my ability, and to make both sets of parents happy. (They only agreed to our getting married young if we promised I would graduate)
But I'm so unmotivated!
I know I'll get through it, I'm just dragging my feet today. The first week of school is chaos and I've always hated it -- first as a student, now as a teacher. In addition, we had not one but TWO tornadoes blow through town, so we spent the better part of the afternoon shhhing kids while they leaned up against the interior walls.
I'll have a chance to write more on my Moses project come Friday. I just didn't want everyone to think I'd disappeared! Have a great week!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Stop for a minute and think about Moses. What do you know about him? The plagues, leading the people through the desert to the Promised Land, parting the sea, the Ten Commandments, and of course – all those laws! But before the Sunday School Moses, the popular Moses, there was an entirely different man.
I love the story of the early Moses. I see so much of myself in him. True, I have never killed a man (Exodus 2:12), but I have done more than my share of unthinking, foolish actions. And like Moses, my desire is to turn and flee. Moses fled to Midian, far away from his home in Egypt, where he joined a group of shepherds. He made himself comfortable. He took a wife, and had some kids, and (at least in my imagination) set his mind to forgetting as much about Egypt as humanly possible.
But God had other plans for Moses. He always has. Remember the basket in the water? From the very beginning, God’s hand ensured that Moses even made it to that fateful day out in the desert. The scene takes place in front of a miraculous sign: a burning bush. On one side, we see a normal, comfortable, graying and balding middle aged man. On the other, the Master and Creator of the Universe:
There an angel of the Lord appeared to [Moses] in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire, it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight – why the bush does not burn up.” When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” Exodus 3:2-4
The following conversation stirs my heart. Our God knows the pain His loved ones have suffered at the hands of their Egyptian masters. He wants to heal them. He cares. He has a plan! But… oh Moses! When faced with his life’s mission, he refuses. Not just once, but fully five times does he present excuse and fears as to why he can not fulfill the role that the Lord has shaped for him.
The first time I read this – REALLY read it – my heart broke. For Moses, yes, but even more so for myself. I have heard each of his five refusals fly from my mouth on many occasions. When presented with an opportunity to serve the Lord and his people, I like Moses hesitate. See, although I am not a balding middle age man several centuries before Christ, I, too, am comfortable. I let my comfort and fears lead me to reject God’s will. Moses’ five objections are familiar, and represent the broad categories of excuses that we each fall into. They are:
1. Who am I?
2. Who are you, God?
3. What if they think I am crazy?
4. I do not have the skills.
5. Please! Send someone else!
I find myself returning to this passage repeatedly. Studying the conversation between Moses and God has helped me to understand myself better. More than that, seeing how God responds to each of Moses’ objections shines a light on His holy character. And since we have been promised that, “I the Lord do not change” (Malachi 3:6), I can safely believe that God’s responses to my objections will be similar to those of Moses. This passage can help us to understand and overcome our excuses. Then, we can be free to pursue the challenges the Lord has planned for us.
The first section, "Who am I?" is almost finished. I hope to post that in a day or two, followed by each of the other four excuses. I pray that this study will help you at least a fraction of as much as it has helped me!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009