Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I really appreciate all your advice. This is just getting me down. I know we'll make it through -- mostly because I'm too stubborn to quit -- but it *is* really stressful. I pump some to help Grace latch but haven't fed her anything from a bottle as of yet. It's just to take the edge off engorgement. Although we've had zero troubles with confusion over the paci, I'm afraid of what might happen with the bottle.
I called the number for our local La Leche League on Sunday and haven't heard back yet. I'll have to try the LCs at the hospital, but I really would rather not go back there.
Serena, she is gaining weight beautifully. At her 1 week appointment, she had put on 12oz from when we were discharged: everything she'd lost plus 4oz extra. That, at least, is reassuring. She's getting what she needs even if I'm struggling. Would you mind emailing me privately? I do have a question for your LC friend. My email is sandjpreston08 @ live . com (without the spaces.) Thanks!
Mrs G, that sounds awful! You must have an iron will.
Rachel, no tounge-tie that I'm aware of. We don't go back to the dr. for another 2 weeks; if I'm still struggling then, I'll have to ask. I'm glad to hear that the 1st baby doesn't necessarily set the pace for all the rest!
Thanks again, ladies. I needed a boost. And, I'm so grateful for all your prayers. They certainly do make a difference! My sister's coming up today so it'll be a nice change of pace. Maybe I'll even sneak a nap!
Monday, May 23, 2011
- I love not being pregnant. I love laying on my belly. I love kissing my little girl's feet instead of trying to push them out of my rib cage. I love touching my toes and tying my own shoes. I don't miss pregnancy a bit, yet at least!
- I love cloth diapers! They're easy and fun. We're only doing them part-time while we adjust to our sweetheart, but it's enough to know I'm NEVER spending money on disposables again!
- I love "wearing" Gracie in her Moby. It's so much easier than a stroller while we're out and about. And at home, I can actually get a few things done. I think a wrap or carrier is a "must" for mommas whose babies are only happy being held -- like mine.
Unfortunately, there's been one, big, huge bummer with having Gracie here. Maybe someone can help me...
I hate breastfeeding.
As good as her birth went, we didn't get off a well on breastfeeding. Since she was born on Sunday, the lactation consultants weren't available until the next morning, when Gracie was nearly 30 hours old. She was asleep when they came in, so we just talked -- they didn't actually see her nursing. We met with another just before discharge when she was over 48 hours old. Now, in those 48 hours, she fed just fine... for her. But she did some serious damage to my delicate skin. My skin was cracked and bleeding due to her ferocious suck. You see, she's a comfort sucker. She'd go for HOURS if I let her.
Well, the LC helped me adjust her latch so she wasn't causing more damage. She also suggested I use a pacifier when Grace just wants to suck, at least while I heal.
Two weeks later I'm FINALLY starting to heal. I don't scream when she latches on anymore -- that was a fun few days (not). I'm glad Shaune was able to take off work because I needed him here to do counter pressure on my feet or shoulders while Grace latched on or I completely couldn't do it. We're past the worst as the skin starts to regrow, but I still hate it.
I almost broke the other night and went to a store to buy bottle feeding supplies. I get why women don't do this. I'm not sure what stopped me, but we're still here, still struggling through it with prayer and determination.
Does it get better, eventually? I really do want to do this for her health and mine, but I just don't know how much more constant pain I can put up with. The problem is that with her being constantly hungry, I'm not able to heal quickly. I have lanolin, and pH-balancing treatments, and "shells" that keep air flowing and clothing not touching. Everything helps a little but my nerves are still so raw. Breastfeeding is just downright exhausting.
I'm really disappointed. I wanted this to go well :( And it's such a big thing, it's overwhelming my joys of everything else. Anyone overcome this before?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
My OB was on duty that night, but I didn't see her until 4am -- 24 hours into this ordeal. When I got into my room they had started me on a saline drip due to dehydration. She came in to check me, then discuss interventions. Four more hours of laboring had only brought me to 7cm. I REALLY wanted to continue laboring naturally. The pain was intense but my conviction was stronger. Shaune helped me focus and kept encouraging me: "You can do this, and you will." We asked the OB to come back shortly. We used that time to pray about our options, since she was very hesitant to NOT intervene, especially since I had convinced her to only do intermittant monitoring. I either had to let her act, or go on the monitor full time (which would restrict me to bed). When she returned, I had decided to let her break my water in the hopes of making things go quicker. She got the kit and it was broken at 5:25am -- 26.5 hours after I'd begun laboring.
Grace Abigail, moments after birth. We've seen that pouty face many times since then!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
We sent her to the nursery for a couple hours so we could sleep (a friend from church was a nurse on the floor that night, and we totally trust her). Gracie came back decorated!
Heading home for the first time
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I'll have pictures once we're home from the hospital. Until then, here's the details:
Monday, May 2, 2011
Little stinker. She's got an opinion, that's for sure. She's still tucked in there, all nuzzled up in my rib cage, and I'm at home again.
I spent a little over two hours on a monitor at the hospital. Those two hours I had consistant contractions 2-4 minutes apart... the whole time. And yet! They're not accomplishing ANYTHING! I'm dialated exactly the same as I was last week. 2 MINUTES! I didn't even know they could BE that close together and not doing anything. At least I have a better idea as to why I've been sooooooo exhausted...
So, we're home. Disappointed and slightly crabby, as well as extremely drained. At least we didn't call everyone. And hey, now I've got a little more time to try and finish a few projects. Well... until the next time she pulls this stunt. Of course, at that point, I may just hold out ("what if it's still not the right time?") and end up giving birth here at home accidentally. That would be ok too.
Hope you all are well! Sorry to be a downer :( I'll have brighter thoughts soon enough.