Sunday, July 12, 2009

Saying "Yes"

I've been feeling convicted by all the wonderful posts on marriage lately throughout the blogs I read. I spent a bit of time on Friday thinking, and I realized that so often when my husband asks me to do something, I say "no." It isn't typically big things... I just already have a plan I'd like to fulfill and would rather stick to it than deviate. So this weekend, I decided to commit myself to saying "yes" to my husband for 3 days to see what happened.

On Friday evening, I intended to stay home and sew. I'm working on 2 dresses and a skirt that I'd really like to get done as soon as possible. I spent most of the day Friday drafting the patterns and started cutting fabric. Well, when my dear husband came home, he informed me that his best friend would be joining him at Martial Arts class that evening and the friend's wife had invited me over to catch up while the boys were playing. I REALLY wanted to sew, but remembering my commitment, I agreed. It turned into a great evening to reconnect to dear friends that I've been pulling back from over the past few weeks. We had good conversations while cooking and playing together, strenghtening our relationships as well as pointing towards Christ (they're fellow Christians). It was such a blessing, even though it wasn't what I had planned. Saying "yes" to Shaune provided healing that my heart needed.

Saturday I got several hours of sewing time. But, right when I got to the finishing touches on my skirt (stitching the lining in place then the hem), Shaune asked me if I'd like to go for a drive with him to return a movie. By saying yes to that errand, we ended up on the best date we've had in months. We saw that two movies we were both interested in were playing at the drive-in theater. Now, we very, very rarely go to movies. I don't believe in spending so much each for an uncomfortable seat in a sticky-floored theater. I'd rather wait for it to hit the RedBox where I can rent it for $1 and watch it at home. But, Shaune loves going to movies, so when he asked I agreed.

Once again, saying "yes" turned into such a blessing. Our outting was a chance for us to reconnect and laugh together again, as well as talk about some of the multitude of things we've been through in the past few weeks. It definately strengthened our marriage. That special time spent together helped remind me just who my husband is and why I love him as much as I do. And it all started just by saying "yes" to a breif errand.

In all aspects of life, it becomes easy to fall into a routine. It is easy to stay where we are comfortable and do the things that we have planned to do. In faith and in marriage, we so often do what we've always done. This weekend has shown me how powerful simply opening yourself up to an interruption can be. Twice I said "yes" even though it disrupted my plans. And twice, that "yes" turned into an opportunity for healing in some very important relationships in my life. I feel stronger because of everything that happened this weekend.

Sometimes, the thing you need the most is the thing you expect the least.


Sarah Jane said...

I've been so convicted by both you and Emily this week on the subject of marriage!

It struck me this week how little I can, at times, depend on David's advice, opinion or observations. How so often I reject an idea or request he has. I don't usually say "no" but I DO say things like "oh, not right now" or "maybe later". . .:( My goodness, where is respect and love in that sort of response?!

It is encouraging to read how your conscious decisions to say yes to your husband resulted in such blessing. I am encouraged to consciously try that myself.

(can't wait to see your sewing projects! :) )

Emily G. said...

Thank you for sharing this story with us! I'm glad you found fulfillment in saying yes. Saying 'no' to my husband even if it's not outright is something I sometimes find myself doing and I always try to catch it. It's hard sometimes, as you have pointed out. One of the challenges in marriage, at least for me, is trying to operate as a unit instead of making separate plans. I can wake up Saturday morning and have my whole day planned without including Anthony, assuming he'll arrange his own day. Then I realise that's not how it should be. Our plans should include each other and we should make them together.

Ditto on looking forward to seeing the projects!