Gracie's Birth Story

I finally have a moment of quiet while my dear baby girl plays with her daddy, so I can steal a second or two to tell you how she got here :)

I woke up with a ripping contraction at 4am on Saturday, May 7th. All the sudden I felt silly for going in on the 2nd with false labor -- there really is no comparison. They started every 10-12 minutes apart; I was able to stay in bed and rest between them. I was glad it was Saturday because I didn't really want to be alone through it all. Shaune was a champ, helping by doing counter-pressure on my back through contractions.

We spent the day preparing for Gracie as the contractions came closer and closer together. We walked around the block. We watched a movie. We returned library books and walked around the Lincoln Home site (right next door to the library). We walked the botanical gardens at Washington Park. We even got ice cream and pizza! It was a special time to spend on our last day as just a couple. By evening, the contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart and getting very strong. We started seriously considering going to the hospital.

I held out at home until about 10pm -- 18 hours after true labor started. At that point I felt the urge to settle in and not move; time to go, since we certainly weren't prepared for a home birth! Due to contractions slowing us down, it took another hour to make it to the car, across town, and across the hospital parking lot -- a 10 minute process on an average day. We arrived at 11, just after the doors were locked for the night, necessitating admittance through the ER. The ER is about as far from L&D as possible, so an escort took me in a wheelchair past the dark empty cafeteria, gift shops, waiting rooms, etc. It was a surreal experience. Every contraction I had to keep from flinging myself out of the wheelchair -- I don't like to labor sitting down!

Aparently Saturday was a busy day for babies, so we had to wait in the triage room until an LDR room could be cleared by moving a current patient to Pediatrics. It was midnight before I was in my own room. One of the reasons we chose the hospital we did was because of the jacuzzi bathtubs in each LDR room -- after being checked (only 6cm!) I climbed in and camped out for the next several hours.

My OB was on duty that night, but I didn't see her until 4am -- 24 hours into this ordeal. When I got into my room they had started me on a saline drip due to dehydration. She came in to check me, then discuss interventions. Four more hours of laboring had only brought me to 7cm. I REALLY wanted to continue laboring naturally. The pain was intense but my conviction was stronger. Shaune helped me focus and kept encouraging me: "You can do this, and you will." We asked the OB to come back shortly. We used that time to pray about our options, since she was very hesitant to NOT intervene, especially since I had convinced her to only do intermittant monitoring. I either had to let her act, or go on the monitor full time (which would restrict me to bed). When she returned, I had decided to let her break my water in the hopes of making things go quicker. She got the kit and it was broken at 5:25am -- 26.5 hours after I'd begun laboring.

It only took one more hour (back in the tub, of course!) for me to progress to more than 9cm. I started breathing the "right way" and feeling the urge to push. The labor nurse came in to assist and had to help me keep from pushing yet since I still had a "lip" on my cervix. I Kegaled with her help and Shaune's for another half hour while Pediatrics were called for Gracie and the doctor got ready for me. I got the go-ahead to push at 7am. Grace Abigail was born at 7:18am -- a perfect Mother's Day gift!

She came out absolutely beautiful, partly (I believe) because I didn't have to push for very long. She didn't have time to get mushed and bruised. I did tear a little, and while the doctor was putting in stitches and Shaune helped rub Gracie down, I just zoned out and listened. The nursing team had just changed shifts and a couple of them were chatting -- no one believed this was my first baby since transition and delivery went so quickly. They were also impressed that delivery was as short as it was because I apparently have "the shortest contractions ever" -- only about 30 seconds. We got a lot done in those 30 second intervals!

I wish I hadn't have had any interventions at all -- no saline, no breaking of waters -- but in the grand scheme of things, it couldn't have gone any better. The rest of the day, every time a new nurse came in, I heard, "You're the first-timer who did it all naturally, right?" It was extremely rewarding. She was so vigorous and alive immediately after birth. Her 1min and 5min APGARs were both 9. We were able to enjoy her right away, and I was up on my feet (and in a shower!) in less than an hour. It was a beautiful experience, and I'm so grateful to my dear husband for helping me so much through it, and for keeping my focus on the end result:

Grace Abigail, moments after birth. We've seen that pouty face many times since then!

Welcome Gracie!

I just wanted to take a minute to let you know I got the best Mother's Day gift ever! My little girl was born this morning!

I'll have pictures once we're home from the hospital. Until then, here's the details:

Grace Abigail (going by Gracie)

May 8, 2011

7lb 9oz, 20.5 in

I stuck it out through 27 hours and did it completely naturally -- nothing until after, when they convinced me to take a couple regular tylonol "just in case." We're both perfectly healthy and enjoying settling into a routine as a family of three. She's got a full head of hair and bright blue eyes -- simply lovely!

Thanks for all your prayers over the past week!

Fake Out

** sigh** Seriously, I woke up this morning entirely convinced I'd have something better to post. I was awakened (significantly before the alarm) by contractions coming in quick succession. They took my breath away and made me stop dead in my tracks. I held out til the dr. opened then called for advice -- "Go in!" they said. So I did.

Little stinker. She's got an opinion, that's for sure. She's still tucked in there, all nuzzled up in my rib cage, and I'm at home again.

I spent a little over two hours on a monitor at the hospital. Those two hours I had consistant contractions 2-4 minutes apart... the whole time. And yet! They're not accomplishing ANYTHING! I'm dialated exactly the same as I was last week. 2 MINUTES! I didn't even know they could BE that close together and not doing anything. At least I have a better idea as to why I've been sooooooo exhausted...

So, we're home. Disappointed and slightly crabby, as well as extremely drained. At least we didn't call everyone. And hey, now I've got a little more time to try and finish a few projects. Well... until the next time she pulls this stunt. Of course, at that point, I may just hold out ("what if it's still not the right time?") and end up giving birth here at home accidentally. That would be ok too.

Hope you all are well! Sorry to be a downer :( I'll have brighter thoughts soon enough.

37/38 weeks... the final count-down!

I was arranging the nursery (again) this morning and had a full on panic attack: there is NO WAY they're going to give us our kid! We're too... too... they're going to laugh at us and take her away. I don't *really* think that, but gee wiz is the feeling strong! The closer I get the more I realize that I don't have a clue.

We're officially in go-mode. I went to the dr. yesterday morning and she got this strange look on her face. "Hm... (silence). You might actually be doing something." Whatever that means -- something or nothing. We'll see. I've been contracting frequently (5+ an hour) but not regularly and I've given up trying to tell the difference between Braxton-Hicks and "real." My dr. told me they were some of each -- I'd progessed to 4cm, 80%. It was stressing me out to guess between the two. I had my "show" this morning. Bags are packed and waiting by the door.

Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time, but honestly? I'm feeling crummy and kind of miserable. I haven't eaten since Sunday because my tummy's so upset. I know the next step is going to hurt like a beast -- but I'd rather be there than stuck in a waiting pattern! Discomfort (it's only occasionally pain) would be easier to deal with if I knew it was going to end soon. Maybe today... one can hope :)

36 weeks or so :)

Well ladies, I've made it to the final count-down! I'm 36 weeks by one count, 37 by another, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm going to make it all the way. Haha, don't all first-timers say that? Really tho, I kinda hope I don't. I'm ready to breath again. Baby Girl's already dropped and I'm at 2.5 cm. It's making me cautiously hopeful. I know I could go for another month like this, but I'm curious for you moms: How long were you just-a-little dialated? Did it really last forever, or did you keep progressing once you started? I'm having Braxton-Hicks contractions a couple times every hour and some of them HURT, but it's not particularly "regular." I even made it to the gym tonight. I'd love to know what you experienced. In the mean time, I guess I should wash a load of baby clothes or something... since I've kind of done NOTHING up til now!

Fluffy Mail

Oh WHY does my camera battery have to die TODAY, and the charger be completely missing? You'll just have to trust my raptures until I track down the charger. My fluffy mail came today! My cloth diapers! I'm ridiculously excited... more than I probably should be about glorified poop-catchers for my baby who isn't even here yet. I've spent the past weeks... no, really, months... researching and reading everything I can track down about cloth diapering. We knew we wanted to do it, and I needed something to study. (I've been going through withdrawl since graduating college). I read forums and reviews. I stalked every website I could find. I polled friends -- online and IRL. I even made charts of price comparisions, shipping costs, and delivery times. Convinced I'm a TOTAL nerd yet? I finally ended back where I first started: prefolds and covers. Nicky's Diapers had the best combination price for the 3dz diapers and 3 covers, and I ended up $5 over the minimum for free shipping. And they arrived today -- when I only ordered Monday! My poor husband thinks I've lost my mind. It's better than Christmas. I can't help but share :)

I'm Still Here

I haven't dropped off the face of the planet, promise :) But I am counting down the days... hours... minutes until Friday. What's Friday? Other than April Fools (always entertaining), it's my last day of employment for the forseeable future. I'm so excited... and exhausted. I've been working overtime to boost my last couple paychecks before I'm home full-time. I'm very ready.

My 32 week bump

Our house is slowly but surely coming along. All the tile has been removed from the bathroom, along with the sink, vanity, medicine cabinet, and light fixtures. Shaune made a new friend at church who is a retired electrician -- he's coming over bright and early Saturday to help us rewire to modern code. No more 1932 paper wrapped wire in this house! I detest living in a construction zone, but alas... it's necessary. I just keep reminding myself of the end goal: a lovely house before Baby Girl comes home. It is possible! She's still growing well. She's a mover... goodness! I never realized just how much exercise babies get while they're still inside! My poor organs... I finally saw my doctor yesterday for the first time since early January (I've been with nurses since I'm not high-risk) and had the labor talk. I'm so glad to hear that she's got similar opinions to me. I'm going to have to have a hep-lock available for IVs, but she won't hook anything into it unless totally necessary. She's willing to do intermitant monitoring and doesn't induce for over-term until after the 42 week mark (as long as everything's looking ok). She'll allow me to drink whatever I want in labor, and although she did say "no eating," she winked and smiled, which is code for "what I don't see won't hurt." Not bad, considering that the hospital where I'll be delivering is in one of the most sue-happy counties in the country! They are so overly cautious with liability here... that's part of why it was a challenge to find a doctor at all. There are no (advertised) midwives, no independent birth centers, no anything except one extremely large (40+ OB) medical group. I got a good one, out of those 40. 7 weeks left. I hit 33 weeks yesterday. However, my original due date was a week earlier, which would be 6 weeks. Either way, this is the last week they'll stop pre-term labor -- it's practice in this area to not stop it past 34 weeks. I'm starting to pull together a bag and praying she doesn't come before my showers -- one of which isn't until the 27th of April! Keep cooking, Little Girl!

30 Weeks and Nesting

Why can't I nest like other pregnant women? You know -- sew up a few cute little things, spend way too much money buying cute little wall decor, clean everything so it shines like a hospital? That would be normal. I've never been normal. Instead, I decided to destroy the only bathroom in our house:

Yeah... that's smart.

The tile's coming down, and so is most of the paster behind it. 80 year old plaster in a bathroom with bad tile permanently adhered doesn't like to stay on the wall. It's a hot mess. Shaune called in reinforcements: I'm kicked out on Saturday and the boys are replastering the whole disaster; then we'll paint and retile (just the shower area this time). Don't watch HGTV ladies... it'll give you an inflated sense of ability.

And maybe THEN I'll the moving boxes out of what-will-be the nursery! This poor child... lol. At least we've got a carseat. Beyond that, her mom's insane.

And all will be well

I'm so grateful to you for praying for me during my testing on Monday. Although I brutally failed my first glucose screening, the second one came back "perfectly normal." I've dodged the diabetic bullet for now, but it has scared me into looking over my diet more carefully. Baby Girl doesn't really like food (lol), just snacks and junk. A hot meal just isn't appealing, so I've blended up a healthy trail mix with nuts and dried fruit. Anything's better than poptarts :)

Countdown has started! Only 11 weeks to go!

Happy Baby-Brain Land

I have gotten nothing accomplished for weeks. Literally, nothing... past daydreaming at least. But I FINALLY got my sewing machine out of the garage (doesn't mean it's set up yet). I also decided on the quilt for Baby Blueberry: I'm going to do a triple irish chain with animals appliqued/embroidered in the "blank" squares. Fulfills my needs for a complicated project, plus my recent bizzare cravings for hand-work. Should be lovely -- I ordered the pattern today and am dragging Shaune to the fabric store on Saturday to pick out cottons.

Oh, and if you don't mind, would you send some prayers my way? Although Baby Girl is doing just fine, I've had some bloodwork for myself come back abnormal. She's sapping my system. My iron's really low and my blood sugar is out of balance. I have to go in for further testing on the 21st. I'm making some changes to my diet now and praying that everything comes out ok after the tests. This "growing new life" thing takes a lot out of you!

24 Weeks

Whoa! Where'd this come from!?



Can't deny that baby anymore! She's growing strong and kicking a ton. I think she's also falling into a schedule: I definately feel her have busy times (10:30pm, every single night) and calmer times (thankfully, while I'm at work). Every now and again there will be a little appendage-shaped bulge push out on my belly for just a few seconds. It's pretty cool :) I'm still feeling pretty great, but my energy is starting to drop off. By the time I get home from work, I have to take a nap before I can get started on the evening life (dinner, chores, etc).

We love you, Baby Girl! Keep on growing!

I Need your Help: Diapering

Dear Ladies, I need to tap your fountain of wisdom. We've decided to pursue cloth diapering with Little One and I have no idea what I actually need. Oh, I've spent weeks looking at different websites, offering more and more complicated (and expensive) cloth diapering soluntions. I can tell you one method (I'm pretty sure) we're NOT doing: I don't think I want to buy 20+ all-in-ones at more than $20 a piece. I'm leaning towards contoured diapers inside covers. Of course, I've never done this, so I could be wrong...

Here's where I need your help:

1. Did you cloth diaper? If so, what kind did you use?
2. Did you like doing it that way?
3. How many diapers do you REALLY need? I don't want to be stuck doing laundry EVERY day, but every other or every third is totally reasonable.
4. Any other advice you can offer a first-timer?

HELP! My mom asked me to pull together a registry, and I definately want to get the diapers on there if I can. Thanks in advance for any thoughts!

News!

I have news for you, cleverly displayed in this photograph my husband played with:

We got to go in and see her yesterday morning. She's strong and active, with loooong legs and arms. And a big ole fluffy baby bum! We're at 15oz -- almost a pound! -- and 10 inches long. I'm so excited :)

Did I mention, she's active? Like.. seriously. She's hardly ever still! During the sonogram, she was literally turning summersaults and backflips. The tech shook my belly to try to get her to turn certain ways, but she wouldn't stay that way long enough to get any photos. It was actually really funny. The best part (for me at least) is that the tech wasn't able to finish her "checklist" because of Baby's wiggliness. That means that I get another sono next month :) I'm certainly not complaining, because they scheduled the sono during the wait time for my glucose tolerance test (boo, not looking forward to THAT part of the visit). While my blood sugar rockets around, I'll get to watch my baby more.

Blessings to you, too, this wonderful New Year! 2011 is already shaping up to be a life-changing year!

18 weeks, and all I want for dinner...

This baby is strange. For the past several weeks (turning into lots), food just isn't appealing. None of the casseroles I've made for hubby; nothing from any restaurants; just... no food.

All I eat is fruit, snack foods, and popcorn. And tea... mmmm, tea. Of course the child would choose exotic fruits, too. I'm blowing through several pounds of kiwi, pomegranets, and grapefruit every week. And pears, but those aren't exactly exotic.

You'll laugh -- I know I did. Last Friday night, I spent hours cooking a big pot of chicken and dumplings, per special request of Hubby. It smelled excellent... the whole house smelled warm and homey. I lit a couple candles, dished up a couple big bowls, sat down with him at the table, took one bite... and that was it. It smelled awesome but just didn't taste right to my hormonal tounge. Shaune verifies it was as good as ever ; he ate his bowl, mine, and went back for more. I had a kiwi and 1/2 a pomegranet. And a mug of goldfish snack crackers.

I think the best thing about pregnancy so far is it's taught me that things don't make sense, and that's ok. I can't control everything. In fact, I can't control anything! I just have to make peace with whatever God throws my way, roll with the punches, and eat what I can. I have to trust that He's got it all figured out in the end. In the mean time, Baby and I are going to go grab a pear and just sit around -- when I'm still, Baby dances all over my belly. It's a glorious feeling :)

Happy Monday!

14 Weeks

I've been withholding from you. I hope you'll forgive me :)

I'm 14 weeks along! Second trimester, whoohoo! I woke up about a week and a half ago, and realized I wasn't already halfway to the bathroom to lose the rest of dinner. Then, I realized I could think again. THEN I went a whole day without taking a nap! (Tho, I did go to bed ridiculously early). It's kind of amazing.

It may not look like much, but that little bump is giving me a world of headache when it comes to getting dressed in the mornings. And I'm pretty sure I still look more like I hit up the Golden Corral buffet than pregnancy. But that's ok :) Soon it'll be undeniable. And since my mom hooked me up with a spare sewing machine (my regular one is looking like it will need some time consuming repairs) I should be able to start solving the clothing issues sooner rather than later.

I love this part of pregnancy. It almost (ALMOST) makes morning sickness worthwhile :)

Maternity Clothes Woes

I don't know what it is about my body, but I am showing REALLY early. I'm just past 11 weeks and already having to lay aside my regular work wardrobe. I hung out with my mom this weeked and she revealed that she went into maternity clothes full-time at 10 weeks. So I guess I've gotten a little past her! It's just ironic, because so far I've actually lost a good bit of weight (gotta love morning sickness... boo).

But with my changing figure and a lack of time, I've been busy shopping to keep myself covered. At least, I've been trying to...

What is UP with modern maternity clothing?! Everything I've found is either 1) ugly 2) expensive or 3) most often, both! I have zero interest in wearing skin tight leggings and ill-fitting tops, or even worse, ill fitting tops with writing on them:

Lest I come across as too grumbly, my lovely mother has purchased a couple dress lengths of jersey knit and is whipping me up a couple of work dresses. And eventually, I'll find my sewing machine in the chaos that is moving boxes, get it repaired, and sew for myself. In the mean time, I'm going to take a moment to be positive: Since I need a whole new wardrobe anyway, I'm replacing with more pretty skirts and dresses that I really like instead of the pants I keep finding myself slipping back into. And once I quit my job in the spring, no one will care if a robe counts as "dressed" for the day!

Wish me luck. Hopefully I'm in the last throws of morning sickness and I can start gaining back the 8lbs I've lost, getting on the right track for the long term. Tho, I will miss the easy excuse for my 4th nap today :)

I forgot to tell you...

In the midst of everything else, I forgot to tell you how our initial appointment with our OB went!

It's routine at the practice I go to to do early ultrasounds, mostly to correctly date the pregnancy. For me, this has extra significance: I needed to know that Baby was, and is, ok. I have faith in God of course, but I was having so much anxiety about the what-might-bes that when the ultrasound was offered, I definately accepted. I needed that reassurance.

Reassured I was!

Our happy little baby was bouncing all around during the whole procedure. You wouldn't think a 9 1/2 week old could get around much, but this little one was. The tech had to do the measurements a couple times because Baby wouldn't stay still. Then, right at the very end, Baby started waving his/her little arms. It was everything I needed and then some to feel safe, confident, and loved. Everything is going to be ok -- no matter what. It was such a blessing.

Just thought you'd like to know!

Pictures Without Words

Once again, God has demonstrated that His plans are superior to ours. I'm not sure yet what He has planned for us, but I keep praying it will be made clear soon.

When I returned for the 2nd sonogram yesterday, our angel's heart had already stopped beating. It makes me all the more appreciative that we did have a chance to see it, together, the week before. Little One hadn't grown at all -- in fact, it was a little smaller. Although I'm still waiting for the miscarriage, it is inevitable at this point. Today marks 11 weeks.

I wish I had a Gods-eye view of things, that I could see how everything would turn out in the end. I wish I could change the outcome of life's events. I wish my plans and dreams for life would be the ones to succeed. But, as a mere human, my choice is to stuggle on my own or lean whole-heartedly on His grace and love over the long term.

We're going away for a few days to just be alone together and mourn. I'll be back Monday or Tuesday.

The miracle of life

I don't think I've ever felt alive until the moment we saw that tiny heartbeat on the sonogram two days ago. Shaune and I just clenched each other's hands and stared -- it's a miracle. Just a little flash on the screen, too small to even be heard yet.

Strangely, even after seeing that (and hanging the picture on the fridge to prove it wasn't just a dream), it still doesn't feel real. I still feel like me, with a cold that's making me really tired and my belly upset. I don't look in the mirror and think "mother" or at my husband and think "father." It's still just us. I assume the reality sets in when you start showing, and the baby starts moving?

Our appointment wasn't 100% happy. There's a major confusion about the dates -- as in, 3 1/2 weeks confusion. It is substantial enough that the doctor ordered a follow-up sonogram next week. I'm sure everything will settle out in time, but if the sonogram dating is correct, we found out about 4 days pregnant with a dollar tree test. Not impossible, but highly, highly unlikely. I've spent a lot of time in prayer since Tuesday and I feel that things will turn out ok in the end, but this is really getting to my nerves. I'd truly appreciate any prayers or good thoughts you'd be willing to send our way.