Not-Beef Ground Beef

We're on a health-kick here, and I think we might stay this way... I promise I haven't gone nuts!

For the past couple years, Shaune and I have skipped meat for a week or so at a time, in the interest of trying out new veggie and grain based recipes. It's never lasted more than a week. So far in 2012 though, we're on our 4th week of "part time vegetarianism." We're still eating meat on the weekends. But all week, it's a medley of veggie goodness.

One of the things we're working on adding is more whole grains. A personal favorite is called quiona. It's an ancient grain, a super food, one of the most complete proteins available in a plant, and downright tasty when cooked right (It's also terrible when cooked wrong but that's a different story). Quinoa is awful healthy, too. It has an interesting chewy texture that reminds me a lot of ground beef. So lately, we've been subbing it in to our favorite ground beef recipes.

Quinoa Meat Substitute:

Saute one diced red onion in a pat of butter. While that cooks, RINSE THE QUINOA (about 1 cup)! This is critical because it is coated with something called saponin, which tastes yucky. Once rinsed, add it to the onions, then top off with water (2 cups ish, just like rice). Bring to a boil, then simmer covered for about 15 minutes. You'll see the little white tails starting to separate. Sidenote: most packages say to cook for 30min. This is way too long and will result in mush rather than bliss. You'll know it's done by tasting a few grains - they should "pop" in your mouth. Underdone quinoa has a firm center.

Although it has an excellent taste and texture as is, we like to build from there - black beans are our favorite stir-in. I make up a batch of beans in the crock pot once a week and toss it into meals as I go so I can't tell you how many that is. Probably about a can's worth if you use them (rather than cooking from dry). We mostly use it in Mexican recipes. Just stir in a little taco seasoning and some water to the mixture. Not too much water! Simmer it together just for a couple minutes but not so long the quinoa gets mushy. I use that on nachos, in tacos, and tonight as filling for enchiladas. It's Shaune's favorite meal!

I'd love to hear from you! What fun grains and veggies have you discovered lately?

Lentil Casserole

We have a joke at our house that is too funny. I have to pass it on. The joke is Lentil Casserole.

Now, the food itself is no joke. I found the recipe in a 1960's cookbook I got at an auction last summer. Lentils and other veggies baked in the oven, covered with cheddar cheese, served with fresh rolls... all around yum. I put it on our menu regularly -- at least 2x a month, if not more.

Here's where the joke comes in: I never, EVER get around to actually making it. "Lentil Casserole" is a code word in the Preston household for, "I don't feel like cooking tonight, let's go out." This is not planned! I promise! It just happens that way... every time.

Lentil Casserole was scheduled for Wednesday night. We had cheese pizza. In response, I declared we were having it Thursday night. We ate Thai (mmm... tofu bume...). We did finally eat it for lunch today because I was so disappointed with us. And you know what? It was wonderful.

Just like it always is.

A Crash Course in Hospitality, pt. 2

This is the rest of the story about my first time hosting a full dinner for my in-laws this past Sunday to celebrate Christmas a little early. You can read the first part here.



A little after 3pm, about 3 hours until serving

We pulled out the old, old cookbook on hosting dinner parties that my husband had picked up somewhere along the way long before he picked up me. There, in the middle of the brunch section, was what I wanted as the crowing centerpiece of my appetizer tray: a pineapple tower. It looks just like a regular pineapple, just with toothpicks sticking out. You pull a pick and a bite sized piece pops out for you to enjoy. Cute, right?

The problem is, the cookbook showed a beautiful picture, but no instructions. So, my brave husband handed me the paring knife and backed away, no-so-quietly whispering prayers that I wouldn't cut my hand off.

I think I figured out why they didn't have directions: The whole process is ridculously complicated. We ended up coring the pineapple and cutting wedges through, sticking in our toothpicks. But then, the pineapple was "structurely unsound" and kept falling over, so we constructed a scaffold of sorts inside using more toothpicks. When we'd done half of it and realized there was no way it would stand if we continued, so we stopped where we were and hoped that everyone would only want a few bites. I built a shelf out of MORE toothpicks and replaced the top (just like a pumpkin) so that it looked complete. It was a juicy mess, but it looked just like the picture! I don't think Shaune will let me try again, although I do have some ideas for making it better next time...

5 pm, 1 hour until serving

It started to snow. My mother-in-law called to tell us that they were on their way, but the roads were getting slippery and it might take them a little longer than expected. Dinner was to be pushed off half an hour. No big deal -- my meat thermometer told me that the ham still had a LONG way to go. I took a break and sat down on the sofa with a cup of tea. Shaune looked at me and said, "Everything ok?" We spent the next 20 minutes laughing about me, my tendency to get in over my head, and life in general. The whole situation was really funny.

6:30 pm, everyone had arrived and was having a good time

It all turned out OK in the end. I think my in-laws are still trying to figure me out: Who, really, spends an hour on a snowy Sunday afternoon trying to cut a pineapple? Or molding brie into the shape of a heart? (Cookie cutters do more than cut cookies.) This was my first attempt at hosting a bunch of people at my house for a formal meal. I don't think it will be the last!!

A Crash Course in Hospitality

I promised you a story. This is the tale of one young lady (me!) and her first attempt to serve a formal holiday meal to her in-laws.

It all started back at Thanksgiving. My father-in-law was good-naturedly grousing about having to host another holiday. He pretends to not like people. It's all a game, part of his charm, but in retaliation I replied, "Well, fine. Let's do Christmas at my house."

"Are you serious? Are you sure?"

"Why not?" And with that, I stepped off the cliff. We decided that Sunday the 18th was close enough to Christmas to count, fit everyone's work schedules, and offered me enough time to figure out what I was doing.

I spent days pouring over menu ideas. There were some important requirements: it had to be healthy, it had to be easy enough to accomplish, and it had to be cheap enough to feed 7 people without breaking my budget. I settled on this menu:

• Spiral cut ham, on special at Aldi for $1.29 a pound
• Scalloped potatoes with onions and cheese
• Green bean cassarole
• Cranberry Relish (a Holiday tradition passed down by my grandmother)
• Dessert brought by my mother- and sister-in-law

So after a fruitful planning session and a bargain-filled shopping trip, I pushed the dinner to the back of my mind, confident that everything would work out just as I had planned without any more input from me. Which brings us up to Sunday...

12 pm, leaving Church, 6 hours until serving

"I've been meaning to get my oil changed," my husband declared. "Can we go do that now?"

I felt confident. I had 6 hours before my relatives were due. The ham was fully cooked and just needed warmed, so... "Sure, let's go."

We drove over to Sam's Club to drop the car off at their Tire and Lube while we picked up a few last minute gifts. This is officially when things began to go wrong. This is also when things began to get really, really funny.

1pm, at Sam's, 5 hours until serving

"What do you mean, you don't do oil changes?" That's right, Sam's installs batteries and tires, but doesn't actually do lube after all. But since we were already there, we decided to wander around, try the free samples, and throw things in our cart that we may or may not have actually needed (2 huge jugs of Welsh's Grape Juice?). While there, one of the samples I tasted triggered a reminder:

"I DON'T HAVE ANY APPETIZERS FOR TONIGHT!"

Which led to an hour long pursuit of brie cheese to make a snack tray. I finally found some at Shop n Save at a price I was willing to pay. I also decided to try a feat I saw once in a cookbook from the '60s -- a pineapple tower. We still had 4 hours to go, so why not?

2:30 pm, at home, 3.5 hours from serving

Shaune and I decided that, with only a few hours to go, we should really get started on some parts of dinner so that we wouldn't be scrambling once his family arrived. The ham was supposed to cook 15 min per lb, at 8 lb, was right about 2 hours. Time to spare. The potatoes cooked right at an hour. Plenty of time. I'd already changed the green beans to be stove top instead of a cassarole, so that would only take a couple minutes. Then I realized one huge, glaring, unacceptable problem with my kitchen...

"Shaune, did you know there is only one rack in the oven?"

I had two things that needed in there, both at the same temperature for long periods of time. I put in my first paniced phone call to my mother.

"Well, you could take aluminum cans and put a cooling rack across it to build a shelf." But I don't have any cooling racks... "You could just put the pyrex dish on the cans." But the cans went out in the garbage, which was just picked up the other day.... "You could... try something else."

So, I pulled out my trusty crock pot. 3 1/2 hours on high might just be enough to warm it throughout. I grabbed the crock, unwrapped the ham, and dropped it in -- only to watch it land right on the edge and stay there. It was several inches too large. I ended up using the crock pot lid like a template and cutting off one large corner of the ham, praying that there would be enough meat without that bit. Then I pushed and shoved until the ham fit. I turned the crock pot on high, pushed it to the corner, and for the first time began wondering if I had gotten in over my head...

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I have to dash off and take care of Christmas Eve festivities now, and this post is getting long. I have more to tell you! I hope to finish this story very soon. I hope you're laughing as much as I am. It was a wonderful time.