37/38 weeks... the final count-down!

I was arranging the nursery (again) this morning and had a full on panic attack: there is NO WAY they're going to give us our kid! We're too... too... they're going to laugh at us and take her away. I don't *really* think that, but gee wiz is the feeling strong! The closer I get the more I realize that I don't have a clue.

We're officially in go-mode. I went to the dr. yesterday morning and she got this strange look on her face. "Hm... (silence). You might actually be doing something." Whatever that means -- something or nothing. We'll see. I've been contracting frequently (5+ an hour) but not regularly and I've given up trying to tell the difference between Braxton-Hicks and "real." My dr. told me they were some of each -- I'd progessed to 4cm, 80%. It was stressing me out to guess between the two. I had my "show" this morning. Bags are packed and waiting by the door.

Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time, but honestly? I'm feeling crummy and kind of miserable. I haven't eaten since Sunday because my tummy's so upset. I know the next step is going to hurt like a beast -- but I'd rather be there than stuck in a waiting pattern! Discomfort (it's only occasionally pain) would be easier to deal with if I knew it was going to end soon. Maybe today... one can hope :)

36 weeks or so :)

Well ladies, I've made it to the final count-down! I'm 36 weeks by one count, 37 by another, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm going to make it all the way. Haha, don't all first-timers say that? Really tho, I kinda hope I don't. I'm ready to breath again. Baby Girl's already dropped and I'm at 2.5 cm. It's making me cautiously hopeful. I know I could go for another month like this, but I'm curious for you moms: How long were you just-a-little dialated? Did it really last forever, or did you keep progressing once you started? I'm having Braxton-Hicks contractions a couple times every hour and some of them HURT, but it's not particularly "regular." I even made it to the gym tonight. I'd love to know what you experienced. In the mean time, I guess I should wash a load of baby clothes or something... since I've kind of done NOTHING up til now!

Soul Gardening

Where you tend a rose, a thistle can not grow (The Secret Garden)

I just love springtime. It's my favorite time of the year. It gets warm, the green things start growing, random flowers errupt everywhere. It's a blessed time -- especially after a long winter. I spent the past week pouring over The Secret Garden once again (what a delightful book!). I guess spring's gotten into my heart, because even my Bible studies have taken me to gardens.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,

and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the Lord's renown,

for an everlasting sign which will not be destroyed.

Isaiah 55:13

He replaces the ugly with the beautiful; the thorny with the useful. Why? To show God's renown -- his fame, celebrity, eminence, good reputation, and glory. It's his sign of redemption, to remove our ugly bits and leave the good. Christ talks about this in the Gospel of John as well:

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

John 15:1-2

We have to have the dead bits removed so that the Christlike parts of us can flourish. We can't be successful servants of God if we're still clinging to our bitterness and selfishness. He has to remove those thorns and replace them with forgiveness and selflessness for us to truly make a difference in the kingdom. And the same concept applies to every other thorny bit of our souls as well.

So my question is, are you willing to let God muck around in your personality? Gardening isn't easy... breaking ground can break your back, and a freshly-pruned bush can look just awful. Removing the dead bits can be downright painful. But you have to remember what happens after: fresh seeds spring up from the turned soil, and the bush regrows healthier, stronger, and more fruitful than ever before. It's worth it. Will you let God garden in your soul?

Fluffy Mail

Oh WHY does my camera battery have to die TODAY, and the charger be completely missing? You'll just have to trust my raptures until I track down the charger. My fluffy mail came today! My cloth diapers! I'm ridiculously excited... more than I probably should be about glorified poop-catchers for my baby who isn't even here yet. I've spent the past weeks... no, really, months... researching and reading everything I can track down about cloth diapering. We knew we wanted to do it, and I needed something to study. (I've been going through withdrawl since graduating college). I read forums and reviews. I stalked every website I could find. I polled friends -- online and IRL. I even made charts of price comparisions, shipping costs, and delivery times. Convinced I'm a TOTAL nerd yet? I finally ended back where I first started: prefolds and covers. Nicky's Diapers had the best combination price for the 3dz diapers and 3 covers, and I ended up $5 over the minimum for free shipping. And they arrived today -- when I only ordered Monday! My poor husband thinks I've lost my mind. It's better than Christmas. I can't help but share :)

I'm Still Here

I haven't dropped off the face of the planet, promise :) But I am counting down the days... hours... minutes until Friday. What's Friday? Other than April Fools (always entertaining), it's my last day of employment for the forseeable future. I'm so excited... and exhausted. I've been working overtime to boost my last couple paychecks before I'm home full-time. I'm very ready.

My 32 week bump

Our house is slowly but surely coming along. All the tile has been removed from the bathroom, along with the sink, vanity, medicine cabinet, and light fixtures. Shaune made a new friend at church who is a retired electrician -- he's coming over bright and early Saturday to help us rewire to modern code. No more 1932 paper wrapped wire in this house! I detest living in a construction zone, but alas... it's necessary. I just keep reminding myself of the end goal: a lovely house before Baby Girl comes home. It is possible! She's still growing well. She's a mover... goodness! I never realized just how much exercise babies get while they're still inside! My poor organs... I finally saw my doctor yesterday for the first time since early January (I've been with nurses since I'm not high-risk) and had the labor talk. I'm so glad to hear that she's got similar opinions to me. I'm going to have to have a hep-lock available for IVs, but she won't hook anything into it unless totally necessary. She's willing to do intermitant monitoring and doesn't induce for over-term until after the 42 week mark (as long as everything's looking ok). She'll allow me to drink whatever I want in labor, and although she did say "no eating," she winked and smiled, which is code for "what I don't see won't hurt." Not bad, considering that the hospital where I'll be delivering is in one of the most sue-happy counties in the country! They are so overly cautious with liability here... that's part of why it was a challenge to find a doctor at all. There are no (advertised) midwives, no independent birth centers, no anything except one extremely large (40+ OB) medical group. I got a good one, out of those 40. 7 weeks left. I hit 33 weeks yesterday. However, my original due date was a week earlier, which would be 6 weeks. Either way, this is the last week they'll stop pre-term labor -- it's practice in this area to not stop it past 34 weeks. I'm starting to pull together a bag and praying she doesn't come before my showers -- one of which isn't until the 27th of April! Keep cooking, Little Girl!

Single Car Families?

Hi ladies! I wanted to ask your opinion on something that's coming up in our near future: Are any of you single-car families?

My dear, darling, 12 year old 210,000 mile car isn't going to make it much longer and we're looking at not replacing it. Have any of you made do with a little one and just one car? What do you have to do to make it work?

Thanks for sharing!

30 Weeks and Nesting

Why can't I nest like other pregnant women? You know -- sew up a few cute little things, spend way too much money buying cute little wall decor, clean everything so it shines like a hospital? That would be normal. I've never been normal. Instead, I decided to destroy the only bathroom in our house:

Yeah... that's smart.

The tile's coming down, and so is most of the paster behind it. 80 year old plaster in a bathroom with bad tile permanently adhered doesn't like to stay on the wall. It's a hot mess. Shaune called in reinforcements: I'm kicked out on Saturday and the boys are replastering the whole disaster; then we'll paint and retile (just the shower area this time). Don't watch HGTV ladies... it'll give you an inflated sense of ability.

And maybe THEN I'll the moving boxes out of what-will-be the nursery! This poor child... lol. At least we've got a carseat. Beyond that, her mom's insane.

Blueberry's Butterfly Quilt

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to make my little one a quilt. One that was bright and cuddly, perfect for a little person to play on and sleep under. Then we found out we were having a girl :) I would have been completely thrilled with a boy -- seriously! -- but there's just something fun about sewing for a little girl. I spent far longer than I should have at Joanne's Fabrics searching for the *perfect* fabric to make the *perfect* baby quilt for my little girl. And alas! Here is is:

Double Irish Chain is one of my all-time favorite blocks (I like the triple even more, but that was too many seams to match this time). I've always wanted to make it. So I did! God bless the women who came up with the rotary cutter and the strip-piecing method of quilting... without you, this would never have happened. I don't have the patience to match that many little squares. Goodness! Every time I make a quilt (and I ONLY strip piece), I get more and more respect for those ladies who pieced each individual little piece of the horribly complex quilts I've seen from the past. They're amazing.

I couldn't resist this butterfly print. It's lovely. The back is daisies and I'm going to applique a butterfly out of scraps along with the quilt label. The binding will be the royal blue like the inner border (and the tiniest butterflies! Can you see them?). And I have *just enough* of the butterfly print left over to make a little dress to bring Blueberry home in.

Here's where I'm struggling: As much as I LOOOOOVE to piece quilt tops (strip piece!), I actually dread the quilting part. I don't know why. I've only actually finished quilting one quilt. I've started a couple others and lost interest. I'm hoping that this time I have enough motivation -- and a deadline! -- to keep me going. I've decided to hand quilt since I've been having to spend a lot of time with my feet up. I hate being idle. This'll keep my hands busy.

I need your ideas. How should I go about quilting this? I was just going to straight stitch down the center of the pink chain and "in the ditch" along the borders, but I need SOMETHING for in the big butterfly squares. I'm at a total loss. And, I should probably do SOMETHING inside the big green border, too. Any thoughts? I'd appreciate it -- I'm clueless!

Philosophy of Beauty

I just finished reading a fabulous book that I can't help but share with you. It was a random find: Shaune and I had gone to the local bookstore for a "date," where we get a special coffee and wander around for a few hours, enjoying the books and magazines. I hadn't planned on buying anything, but this book caught my eye:

What a weird title! And an eye catching cover! And it was only just recently (2006) translated from French. It's a novel, but even more than that, it's a discussion of philosophy. Each of the two narrators is looking for worth and beauty in their worlds, and they craft essays describing the good they've found (or the lack of it).

Each chapter is only 3, maybe 4 pages, but it draws you in so deeply. Here's a teaser from the section on grammar:

I don't like Achille Grand-Fernet but in this case I agreed with him when
he asked this question. I feel it was long overdue. Moreover, when a literature
teacher uses a split infinitive like that, I'm really schocked. It's like
someone sweeping the floor and forgetting the dust bunnies. "What's the point of
grammar?" asked Achille. "You ought to know by now," replied Madame
Never-mind-that-I-am-paid-to-teach-you. "Well, I don't," replied Achille,
sincerely for once, "no one ever bothered to explain it to us." Nadame Fine let
out a long sigh, of the "do I really have to put up with such stupid questions"
variety, and said, "The point is to make us speak and write well."

I thought I would have a heart attack there and then. I have never heard
anything so grossly inept...

Personally I think grammar is a way to attain beauty. When you speak, or
read, or write, you can tell if you've said or read or written a fine sentence.
Upi cam recpgmoze a well turned phrase or an elegant style. But when you are
applying the ruses of grammar skillfully, you ascend to another level of the
beauty of language....

And on the way home I thought: pity the poor in spirit who know neither the
enchantment nor the beauty of language.

Yum. Check it out the next time you need some brain food. I guarentee you won't be bored :)

And all will be well

I'm so grateful to you for praying for me during my testing on Monday. Although I brutally failed my first glucose screening, the second one came back "perfectly normal." I've dodged the diabetic bullet for now, but it has scared me into looking over my diet more carefully. Baby Girl doesn't really like food (lol), just snacks and junk. A hot meal just isn't appealing, so I've blended up a healthy trail mix with nuts and dried fruit. Anything's better than poptarts :)

Countdown has started! Only 11 weeks to go!